Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Give me a "B", give me an "R"...oh heck it's bronchitis!

On Friday we took Zach to the doctor's office because he was coughing a strange cough, and hadn't really been himself. So for the last five days I have been babying him. Taking off of school Monday so he could rest, sending him to my Mom's on a Tuesday instead of daycare, and now I have called the doctor again to see why he seems to be making a wheezing sound when he breathes. It is so weird. The kid runs around like nothing is bothering him, eats pretty well(not quite as great as his usual), and is still sleeping from 7:30-6:30 every night pretty much. And yet, here I am worried because he still doesn't seem quite right.

I swear today I almost had a meltdown thinking about what I am going to do when both Zach and Matt are sick at the same time, which of course means that Wayne and I will both get sick, and although I love my normally super helpful husband, when he is sick, he is utterly useless. It got me a little panicked, because I realized that sometimes I already feel overwhelmed and in two months I will have another little person's symptoms to agonize over.

In my travels through people's blogs I have read some amazingly touching stories of children who have overcome great illnesses, so much worse than bronchitis, and I have been awed by the grace and poise that these mothers have used in their writing and their lives when they endured watching their children suffer. I have read blogs of moms who eloquently document their daily blessings with their kids, and inspire others to reach deeper. And yet today I still find myself complaining that Zach is sick again, that he has to go to daycare, that I am not as entertaining or creative as I dream of being when I get home from 7 hours of work, and that I am frustrated that he has to go to the Dr's office again tomorrow. I feel guilty that I can't go with him, angry that I feel so easily beaten down, and terrified that I not giving 100% to the role of mother. It is just one of those days I guess. I think I'll take Scarlett O'Hara's advise from Gone with the Wind, "I won't think about it today, I'll think about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!"
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3 comments:

  1. JenSeptember 22, 2009 at 9:30 PM

    Oh honey...please don't feel guilty at all. You are a WONDERFUL mother to that little guy and he knows it :-) Hopefully after a good nights sleep for both of you...you will wake up happy and healthy. Sending hugs your way!

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  2. UnknownSeptember 23, 2009 at 3:46 PM

    Amy, don't feel guilty, all will be well. All mothers at some point feel like you are at the moment. You love your little man as much as is humanly possible, and he knows it! You just do the best you can until he is well. Don't forget that your hormones are jumping all over the place, don't stress, just hold your little guy and say a prayer and the big man upstairs will hear you, and a peace will settle inside you. You are a super mom, and wife, and don't ever think otherwise. All will be fine and you'll be running all over trying to keep up with Zach! Love you's all

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  3. AmySeptember 24, 2009 at 4:22 PM

    Thanks Jen and Mama Alice. Your words made me feel so much better. I know you are both right and things will be back to "normal" soon.

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