This year, I couldn't help but think of "Labor Day" in a whole new light. Maybe its the fact that I am already 29 weeks pregnant, and nearing the big day, or the fact that I am married to a man who works incessantly, either way I thought a lot about "labor". It's ironic, because I actually relaxed quite a bit on a day that's named for workers.
Growing up Labor day always marked the end of summer...well until this year. This year my school moved up its start date which ended summer early for me, but I guess I'll get over that heartbreak eventually. Either way, it was always a day that marked the beginning of a new school year, a new season in my eyes( Yes, I know Fall doesn't officially start till the 21st!) and for that reason I think it resonates well with what I am feeling today.
There are so many labors in this world that we endure. Everything from the jobs we go to everyday, to the physical and mental strains put upon our bodies and minds, to the feats of love we carry out, they all spin together under this one word. Perhaps that is why I couldn't help but think of the labors I've undergone/struggled with and what they have brought me.
My job- There is no job in the world like teaching. I may be biased, but it truly is remarkable. Meeting so many new people every year and helping them meet their goals is an amazing feeling. Much like life, it has it ups and downs, and a day can be riddled with failures or successes, but it is never boring. I always enjoy watching the light bulbs click throughout the year, and the laughs we have along the way as my students struggle for the switches. Hopefully, I act as a flashlight to help them get there, but to be honest, they teach me everyday as well. It has always been my belief that in order to be a great teacher a person must be an avid learner. I'm nine years into the field, and I must say, I don't think I'd trade my experiences for all the gold in the world...although I would like to be paid just a bit more :)
My Body-
This area is probably my weakest. I am not saying this because I am 7 1/2 months pregnant and feel like a blimp...although I do. I am just honest. I've never been one to push myself to the limits in exercise, or physical sports, but I have found that my body can amaze even me when it is asked to. For example, I think it was pretty remarkable the day it gave birth to my son after 23 long hours of being pushed to the max. I think in many ways, that feat helped me realize that if I set my mind to it, I could push it a bit longer on the treadmill, or to get up and walk a bit more. I also know that although I will be tired, it will get me through these early years chasing my very active sons around, and that I will be forever grateful for it. So even though I may not be a model, I am thankful that I have a body that hoists around 29 lbs for minutes at a time, when Zach needs to be held, or that it allows me to run faster than an 18 month old whose headed for the stairs, all while housing another growing baby.
My Mind-
This one is the trickiest. Mostly because it can get away from you, especially when you are a hormone driven mess. Take for example the guilt it is enduring; Guilt over leaving Zach to start a school year, guilt over leaving my students to have a baby, guilt over having a baby and changing Zach's life, guilt over one day going back to work and leaving my two kids in daycare, guilt over my Mom watching my son for me, guilt over not spending enough time with my husband, guilt over not finding time to see my nephews, guilt over not finding time to return phone calls or see friends I adore, guilt over...do you see where this is going? And yet, in the scheme of life, these little guilts are only a snippet of the mental struggles we endure. It's an amazing thing the mind, that it can cope so well in a world filled with labors to solve.
My Love-
This one is the one that comes most naturally. I have always thrived on my family, on connecting with them, listening to them, and trying to solve problems when they arise. But once I got married, the labor of love changed a bit. Now I also labor to support my husband( who makes it easy most of the time) and understand his needs, which aren't always as similar to mine as I would like, (Fantasy Football, Golf and hockey come to mind here :) ) as well as understand and listen to what he has to say( This isn't always my strong suit in this labor) And here is my big ah ha moment so to speak. Adding Motherhood in so many ways consumed my labor of career, my body, my mind and threw me headfirst into the necessity of the labor of loves. It is love, that drives an exhausted body from bed at 2 in the morning for a feeding, or allows you to make it through those days when you feel like your head is spinning with all the Mama's this and Mama's that. It is the ultimate labor of life, to give yourself completely into the betterment of a new soul, and to try to shape all the areas you take for granted.
For that reason, I will say I fear labor, the process, but I relish in the labors of love that life is sending my way. Am I afraid to have two children under the age of two...you bet, but what terrifies me more is the idea of not ever having those two lives intertwined in mine.
So my thought today is; Labor is miraculous. Without it, you wouldn't appreciate any of the simple pleasures of life, or the importance of what toiling does for the soul.
(Sorry for the philosphical post, but I get this way sometimes!)
On a lighter note:
Even though he is only 18 months, Zach is already getting in on some laboring...here he is trying to take out the trash :)
Growing up Labor day always marked the end of summer...well until this year. This year my school moved up its start date which ended summer early for me, but I guess I'll get over that heartbreak eventually. Either way, it was always a day that marked the beginning of a new school year, a new season in my eyes( Yes, I know Fall doesn't officially start till the 21st!) and for that reason I think it resonates well with what I am feeling today.
There are so many labors in this world that we endure. Everything from the jobs we go to everyday, to the physical and mental strains put upon our bodies and minds, to the feats of love we carry out, they all spin together under this one word. Perhaps that is why I couldn't help but think of the labors I've undergone/struggled with and what they have brought me.
My job- There is no job in the world like teaching. I may be biased, but it truly is remarkable. Meeting so many new people every year and helping them meet their goals is an amazing feeling. Much like life, it has it ups and downs, and a day can be riddled with failures or successes, but it is never boring. I always enjoy watching the light bulbs click throughout the year, and the laughs we have along the way as my students struggle for the switches. Hopefully, I act as a flashlight to help them get there, but to be honest, they teach me everyday as well. It has always been my belief that in order to be a great teacher a person must be an avid learner. I'm nine years into the field, and I must say, I don't think I'd trade my experiences for all the gold in the world...although I would like to be paid just a bit more :)
My Body-
This area is probably my weakest. I am not saying this because I am 7 1/2 months pregnant and feel like a blimp...although I do. I am just honest. I've never been one to push myself to the limits in exercise, or physical sports, but I have found that my body can amaze even me when it is asked to. For example, I think it was pretty remarkable the day it gave birth to my son after 23 long hours of being pushed to the max. I think in many ways, that feat helped me realize that if I set my mind to it, I could push it a bit longer on the treadmill, or to get up and walk a bit more. I also know that although I will be tired, it will get me through these early years chasing my very active sons around, and that I will be forever grateful for it. So even though I may not be a model, I am thankful that I have a body that hoists around 29 lbs for minutes at a time, when Zach needs to be held, or that it allows me to run faster than an 18 month old whose headed for the stairs, all while housing another growing baby.
My Mind-
This one is the trickiest. Mostly because it can get away from you, especially when you are a hormone driven mess. Take for example the guilt it is enduring; Guilt over leaving Zach to start a school year, guilt over leaving my students to have a baby, guilt over having a baby and changing Zach's life, guilt over one day going back to work and leaving my two kids in daycare, guilt over my Mom watching my son for me, guilt over not spending enough time with my husband, guilt over not finding time to see my nephews, guilt over not finding time to return phone calls or see friends I adore, guilt over...do you see where this is going? And yet, in the scheme of life, these little guilts are only a snippet of the mental struggles we endure. It's an amazing thing the mind, that it can cope so well in a world filled with labors to solve.
My Love-
This one is the one that comes most naturally. I have always thrived on my family, on connecting with them, listening to them, and trying to solve problems when they arise. But once I got married, the labor of love changed a bit. Now I also labor to support my husband( who makes it easy most of the time) and understand his needs, which aren't always as similar to mine as I would like, (Fantasy Football, Golf and hockey come to mind here :) ) as well as understand and listen to what he has to say( This isn't always my strong suit in this labor) And here is my big ah ha moment so to speak. Adding Motherhood in so many ways consumed my labor of career, my body, my mind and threw me headfirst into the necessity of the labor of loves. It is love, that drives an exhausted body from bed at 2 in the morning for a feeding, or allows you to make it through those days when you feel like your head is spinning with all the Mama's this and Mama's that. It is the ultimate labor of life, to give yourself completely into the betterment of a new soul, and to try to shape all the areas you take for granted.
For that reason, I will say I fear labor, the process, but I relish in the labors of love that life is sending my way. Am I afraid to have two children under the age of two...you bet, but what terrifies me more is the idea of not ever having those two lives intertwined in mine.
So my thought today is; Labor is miraculous. Without it, you wouldn't appreciate any of the simple pleasures of life, or the importance of what toiling does for the soul.
(Sorry for the philosphical post, but I get this way sometimes!)
On a lighter note:
Even though he is only 18 months, Zach is already getting in on some laboring...here he is trying to take out the trash :)
No comments:
Post a Comment